CHAPTER TEN

DEAR DIARY,

Isn't it FUNNY how there are some things you can’t SEE but choose to BELIEVE in? REASONS you have but can’t EXPLAIN? MISTAKES you can’t bring yourself to REGRET? And A LOVE SO HOPELESS BUT YOU STILL CHOOSE TO FIGHT FOR????

Indeed it’s easy to LOVE someone but HARD to let someone love you back. That’s the CHALLENGE of love. FIGHTING WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO WIN. & sometimes you CONVINCE yourself that you’re already OVER someone. You tell yourself that there is no more LOVE left in your heart BUT the TRUTH is often times, the more you try to CONVINCE yourself, the more you realize how much you still and always will, LOVE & CHERISH the person you’re trying to FORGET, and it's very HARD TO TELL YOUR MIND TO STOP LOVING SOMEONE WHEN YOUR HEART STILL DOES.

I have always been careful & protective of my emotions but my defenses are as fragile as a BUTTERFLY'S WINGS when it comes to MISS PERKY SLENDER...I just can't escape thought of her.

I talked to her this morning tryna convince her to see me around 5pm...But she told me she's got some "GIRLS' STUFF" to do with her girlfriends so she can't see me, disappointed as i was, i had to RESPECT her wish...At 5:30pm, she surprised me by passing through, but like a "bird in a flight" she left right after taking some water...She promised to call after 9pm, but I’d be dead if i had baited my breathe on her promise! Because THE CALL NEVER CAME!!!

Though i know she doesn't see me & think of me the way i see & think of her, I can't help but WISH i could see through her sexy eyes, so i would know what she'd like to SEE...I wish i knew her wishes, so i could give them to her...I wish i DREAMED the same DREAM as she does, so that together we could make them come true...I wish i knew & could do what makes her HAPPY, so i could make her the HAPPIEST girl in the world. But most importantly, I wish i were a cell in her BLOOD, so I’d be sure i was somewhere in her HEART!!!